Make a Difference Monday

Happy Monday everyone! This is the time of year that it seems everything starts on the fast track...kids are back to school, the holidays are coming, and soon we will all be caught up in the frenzy of the holiday season. So, before any of that happens this year, why not be good to yourself? For this week's Make a Difference Monday I am sharing a post from Tiny Buddha What Self-Love Means: 20+ ways to be good to yourself. If there is one way that will help the world around you it is to start with yourself :)

What Self-Love Means: 20+ Ways to Be Good to Yourself

By Banu Sekendur

“Self-love requires you to be honest about your current choices and thought patterns and undertake new practices that reflect self-worth.” ~Caroline Kirk

If one more person told me to go love myself I was going to levitate into the air and pull one of those impossible martial arts moves from Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. I was sick of it!

What the heck does loving myself mean? Were they talking about bubble baths, pedicures, and cucumber masks? It turns out there is so much more to self-love than just pampering ourselves. I found this out the hard way.

About a year and a half ago, I almost died after a bad break-up. I had devoted so much of my energy to making the relationship work that I had completely neglected my own needs, and had given away my power and my responsibility for happiness.

As I wrote about here, when I finally developed the courage to end an addictive and painful relationship, I had to live with the effects of lack of self-love.

I struggled to eat, sleep, or continue my daily functioning. I spent every waking hour to myself, trying to understand how and why I had gotten there. I had to know, because whatever it was, if I did not attend to it, this was going to be the end of the road for me. I knew it.

I made mixed media collages, journaled, watched The Notebook five more times, cried, and called up friends to keep me company while I ate my few bites each day.

During this whole time, I found places in my story where I was not present to my own life, my body or my spirit. I was just there. I found the places where I had abandoned myself and then gotten mad at the other person for not meeting my needs.

The truth was, I did not have a big enough inner container to hold the love I so desired even if I received it, because my self-love tank had shrunk down to the size of a bottle cap.

It finally became very clear to me that there was one core reason I had gotten there: I did not know anything about self-love.

This realization launched me into a relentless search for the meaning of self-love, internally and externally.

I found that self-love is a not a destination, it’s a practice. It is like brushing our teeth. Self-love is a foundation on which we build a happy life. Without self-love, we have nowhere to put the love or abundance that comes to us.

Not sure what it looks like to love yourself? Here is what I’ve learned. Self-love is…

1. Choosing ourselves, even if it means upsetting others and not being popular anymore. Even if it means we leave a party before anyone else because we feel tired, overwhelmed, or just plain feel done with the crowd.

2. Telling what is true for us, not swallowing words that express what we truly feel, think, or want to do.

3. Giving our body the nurturing, rest, exercise, and comfort it needs to the best of our ability.

4. Wearing clothes that make us feel good and fit our personality instead of wearing clothes that are in fashion that we use to impress others.

5. Building a life that we love while we are single instead of waiting for our prince/princess to show up to explore life and to be happy.

6. Accepting ourselves with the good, the bad, the ugly, the sexy, and the smelly—all of it—and appreciating ourselves as whole people.

7. Making time to do whatever we love, just to play, without worrying about wasting time.

8. Owning our inner and outer beauty and complimenting ourselves without feeling guilty, arrogant, or entitled.

9. Not rehashing our past mistakes and dragging ourselves to a dark place when we know that we can only learn from the past; we can’t change it.

10. Spending some quality, connected time with ourselves instead of always watching TV or wasting time on the Internet.

11. Using discretion when sharing our heart, self, and dreams with others.

12. Trusting the path that our soul is on and making a genuine effort to become a conscious co-creator of our destiny.

13. Not blaming our parents for our current issues, and looking for ways to heal our wounds and change our dysfunctional patterned behaviors by reaching out to ministers, therapists, coaches, and healers.

14. Following what our gut/intuition says instead of living out of our brain and ego.

15. Staying in our integrity, both when it comes to ourselves and when interacting with others out in the world. This includes keeping ourselves in check regarding patterns such as lying, manipulating, co-depending, withholding, and pretending.

16. Allowing ourselves to dream big, without contaminating these dreams with judgments, our perceived limitations, or a lack of sense of deserving.

17. Knowing how we’re spending our emotional, mental, financial, and physical energy, and whether these activities bring back joy, connection, nurturing, rest, and creativity to our lives.

18. Taking responsibility for all of our experiences. Knowing that we have the ability for deeper self-awareness and access to our intuition when it comes to making life choices.

19. Not labeling ourselves with others’ opinions of us, while having the courage to look inside to see if there might be some truth to them.

20. Learning to set boundaries that protect and nurture our relationships, with ourselves and others.

21. Allowing ourselves to make mistakes and not berating ourselves for making them. Instead, choosing to appreciate our desire to learn and grow.

22. Refusing to seek permission or approval to be ourselves. Recognizing that we, like everyone else, deserve to take up space on this planet just as who we are right now.

And lastly, self-love is:

23. Loving and accepting ourselves even when we fail miserably at some of these self-love goals.

No one else can offer these things to us. No one else can take our vitamins for us or prevent us from going into a self-loathing attack.

Even if we land the best partner on the planet, this person won’t be able to make us happy and feel loved unless we create the space for it inside by practicing self-love. This is why self-love is an inside job.

From my heart to your heart…

I have shared other Tiny Buddha articles for my Make a Difference Monday posts: 10 Ways to Make the World a Better Place, Three Self-Honoring Ways to deal with Low Energy Days, and 60 Things to be Grateful for in Life.

If you would like to get more involved with "Make a difference Monday" by suggesting an idea for me to include in the weekly post, send me an email at [email protected] with your idea.  If I include your idea in an upcoming "Make a difference Monday", I will include a link your blog or website.

Leave me a comment to let me know if you do any of the ideas this week & how it turned out. I would love to hear how these ideas made a difference in the world around us!

"Just be who you are." by Madi

Make a Difference Monday

Happy Monday everyone! For this week's Make a difference Monday post I am sharing a post from Tiny Buddha. Enjoy!

10 Ways to Make the World a Nicer Place

By Nicole Liloia

“There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept responsibility for changing them.” ~Denis Waitley  

I was spending some time with my nephews not too long ago. This is one of my favorite things to do because we have a lot of fun together. They’re silly and loving and inquisitive, and it’s easy to make them laugh.

Spending time with them reminds me that fun and laughter should be a part of my everyday life, and also makes me feel like a kid again.

When we were together that day, I asked them what they want to be when they grow up. My five-year-old nephew said, “I want to be a police so I can make the world a nicer place for everyone.”

I thought that was just about the sweetest and cutest thing he could possibly say, even though the thought of him becoming a police officer made me nervous. Why couldn’t he choose something safer?

Over the next few days, I couldn’t get that conversation out of my head because I realized that I don’t want him, as a five-year-old, taking on the responsibility of making the world a nicer place.

I want him to be focused on having fun and making friends and learning new things in school. I don’t think any child should have to worry about that.

I started thinking about the actions I could take to make the world a nicer place so that he can experience that right now. Many of us are already doing things that have a positive impact on the world, but we don’t always recognize or acknowledge them.

We can all make a difference by doing these simple actions more frequently and accepting the responsibility for a nicer world as our own.

1. Smile at others.

Smiling makes others feel good when they see us doing it and it makes us feel good, too. It allows us to feel connected to other people, and this improves all of our moods. When I smile at people in the store and I get smiles in return, I notice that I get an immediate mood boost.

2. Make eye contact with people.

Many times we look at the ground or our phones instead of acknowledging the people around us. We avoid talking to people in line with us at the grocery store, and we act like we don’t see other people when we pass by them on the street. When we make eye contact instead of ignoring people, we make them feel seen and worthy of our attention—something we all want and appreciate.

3. Take care of our environment.

We all want to live in a clean and beautiful environment. The first step is to recycle and take care of our resources instead of being wasteful. Doing this ensures we leave our children a world they can take pride in and enjoy comfortably.

4. Compliment other people.

It’s important that we tell others how they make a difference in our lives and that we see all the amazing things they do. We can make a tremendous difference in their lives by sharing our gratitude instead of just thinking about it. I make an effort to compliment others about their work and let them know how important they are to me because I know that everyone wants to know that they matter.

5. Be positive.

Everyone benefits when we stop complaining and find the positive instead of focusing on the negative. We can make life easier for ourselves, and the people around us, if we stop worrying about the worst-case scenarios and try to make the best of our situations. When we cultivate a positive mindset, we not only feel more positive, we’re also more likely to create more positive circumstances.

6. Help others.

We often help others expecting something in return, but this can lead to disappointment and resentment. The alternative is to help others, especially those who are struggling, simply because we want to live in a world where people look out for each other.

7. Be kinder to ourselves.

Forgiving ourselves for any mistakes we make is much kinder than always mentally beating ourselves up, and being kind to ourselves is crucial if we want the world to be a nicer place. When we’re kind and caring to ourselves, we’re more open to kindness from others and more likely to treat others well.

8. Stay mindful in the present moment.

If we stop dwelling on things that have happened in the past and worrying about what might happen in the future, we’ll be able to experience all of the wonderful things that are happening in the present. When my mind wanders, I bring myself back to the now with three deep breaths. Mindfulness is a powerful way to increase our happiness, and that can have a massive ripple effect on the world around us.

9. Express gratitude daily.

Acknowledging all of the amazing things that we have happened to us puts us in a positive mindset, and it also provides us with the opportunity to thank others for all they’ve done. I practice gratitude daily by recording at least three things that I’m grateful for at the end of the night, and I’ve noticed it makes a tremendous difference in my mood and my relationships.

10. Have fun!

A lot of times we make situations out to be more much more serious than they need to be and we forget to actually let go and have fun. Let’s make sure that enjoying life is a priority so that we can actually take advantage of living in a nicer world!

Photo by Juhan Sonin

If you would like to get more involved with "Make a difference Monday" by suggesting an idea for me to include in the weekly post, send me an email at [email protected] with your idea.  If I include your idea in an upcoming "Make a difference Monday", I will include a link your blog or website.

Leave me a comment to let me know if you do any of the ideas this week & how it turned out. I would love to hear how these ideas made a difference in the world around us!

"Love is everywhere." by Madi

Make a Difference Monday

Happy Monday everyone!This week I thought I'd share 3 self-honoring ways to deal with low energy days that I found on the blog Tiny Buddha.

Three Self-Honoring Ways to deal with Low Energy Days by Molly Rider

1. Self-pampering.

I hugged myself. I sat on the floor in my living room and circled my arms around my knees. Then, when I was ready I went out to get a hot yummy drink at the coffee shop down the street.

I let my to-do list fly out the window and I gave my body and my mind my full attention. I did a lot of journal writing that day. I like journaling when I can, and it helped me explore areas where I could really stand up for myself in my business and in my relationships.

2. The twenty-four-hour rule.

I released myself from making any big decisions. I knew my energy was all over the place and the key was to wait for clarity. Thus, I gave myself a twenty-four-hour rule. No big decisions were to be carried out or expressed until 9:00AM the next day, at the earliest.

This wonky, negative energy was here for me to explore and learn from. It was still too early to start sharing a new truth. I couldn’t expect myself to grasp my learning’s well enough to articulate them to others. Nor could I expect myself to be in a place to take feedback neutrally. Not yet, anyway.

This rule gave me the freedom to explore what I really wanted.

3. Judgment-free space.

I deemed my home, my body, and the three-foot bubble around me wherever I went to be my judgment-free space. There was nothing good or bad, right or wrong about my low energy day. It was here for me, as an amazingly imperfect human being, to experience.

This allowed me to embrace it and learn from it. It was no one’s fault. There was nothing wrong with me for feeling this way. It wasn’t going to last forever, and everyone would still love me in the morning.

When I woke up at 7:00AM the next day, I felt refreshed. The rage and negative energy were gone, and I could also see clearly how I wanted to proceed in my business relationships.

A huge sigh escaped my lips. I had allowed myself to be a part of the day’s adventure. Instead of fighting it, or allowing it to take over my life for who knows how long, I had loved my low energy.

Which of these three self-honoring actions will you try when you have a low energy, “rage” day?

If you would like to get more involved with "Make a difference Monday" by suggesting an idea for me to include in the weekly post, send me an email at [email protected] with your idea.  If I include your idea in an upcoming "Make a difference Monday", I will include a link your blog or website.

Leave me a comment to let me know if you do any of the ideas this week & how it turned out. I would love to hear how these ideas made a difference in the world around us!

"Smooth music is smooth life." by Madi

Make A Difference Monday

It always amazes me when I have one of those weeks where I see that last time I posted was last Monday! Where does the time go? For this week's make a difference post I am sharing a post called "60 Things to be grateful for in Life" from Tiny Buddha. Tiny Buddha is a great inspirational website sharing "simple wisdom for complex lives".  "Tiny Buddha is about reflecting on simple wisdom and learning new ways to apply it to our complex lives—complete with responsibilities, struggles, dreams, and relationships."

Here are sixty things to be grateful for in our lives:

1. Your parents - for giving birth to you. Because if there is no them, there will not be you.
2. Your family – for being your closest kin in the world.
3. Your friends – for being your companions in life.
4. Sense of sight – for letting you see the colors of life.
5. Sense of hearing - for letting you hear trickle of rain, the voices of your loved ones, and the harmonious chords of music.
6. Sense of touch - for letting you feel the texture of your clothes, the breeze of the wind, the hands of your loved ones.
7. Sense of smell – for letting you smell scented candles, perfumes, and beautiful flowers in your garden.
8. Sense of taste – for letting you savor the sweetness of fruits, the saltiness of seawater, the sourness of pickles, the bitterness of bitter gourd, and the spiciness of chili.
9. Your speech – for giving you the outlet to express yourself.
10. Your heart – for pumping blood to all the parts of your body every second since you were born; for giving you the ability to feel.
11. Your lungs – for letting you breathe so you can live.
12. Your immune system – for fighting viruses that enter your body. For keeping you in the pink of your health so you can do the things you love.
13. Your hands – so you can type on your computer, flip the pages of books, and hold the hands of your loved ones.
14. Your legs - for letting you walk, run, swim, play the sports you love, and curl up in the comfort of your seat.
15. Your mind - for the ability to think, to store memories, and to create new solutions.
16. Your good health – for enabling you to do what you want to do and for what you’re about to do in the future.
17. Your school - for providing a environment conducive to learning and growing.
18. Your teachers – for their dedication and for passing down knowledge to you.
19. Tears – for helping you express your deepest emotions.
20. Disappointment - so you know the things that matter to you most.
21. Fears – so you know your opportunities for growth.
22. Pain – for you to become a stronger person.
23. Sadness – for you to appreciate the spectrum of human emotions.
24. Happiness – for you to soak in the beauty of life.
25. The Sun - for bringing in light and beauty to this world.
26. Sunset – for a beautiful sight to end the day.
27. Moon and Stars - for brightening up our night sky.
28. Sunrise - for a beautiful sight to start the morning.
29. Rain – for cooling you when it gets too warm and for making it comfy to sleep in on weekends.
30. Snow – for making winter even more beautiful.
31. Rainbows – for a beautiful sight to look forward to after rain.
32. Oxygen - for making life possible.
33. The earth – for creating the environment for life to begin.
34. Mother nature - for covering our world in beauty.
35. Animals – for adding to the diversity of life.
36. Internet - for connecting you and others despite the physical space between you.
37. Transport - for making it easier to commute from one place to another.
38. Mobile phones – for making it easy to stay in touch with others.
39. Computers – for making our lives more effective and efficient.
40. Technology – for making impossible things possible.
41. Movies – for providing a source of entertainment.
42. Books – for adding wisdom into your life.
43. Blogs – for connecting you with other like-minded people.
44. Shoes – for protecting your feet when you are out.
45. Time – for a system to organize yourself and keep track of activities.
46. Your job – for giving you a source of living and for being a medium where you can add value to the world.
47. Music - for lifting your spirits when you’re down and for filling your life with more love.
48. Your bed - for you to sleep comfortably in every night.
49. Your home - for a place you can call home.
50. Your soul mate – for being the one who understands everything you’re going through.
51. Your best friends – for being there for you whenever you need them.
52. Your enemies – for helping you uncover your blind spots so you can become a better person.
53. Kind strangers – for brightening up your days when you least expect it.
54. Your mistakes - for helping you to improve and become better.
55. Heartbreaks - for helping you mature and become a better person.
56. Laughter - for serenading your life with joy.
57. Love - for letting you feel what it means to truly be alive.
58. Life’s challenges - for helping you grow and become who you are.
59. Life - for giving you the chance to experience all that you’re experiencing, and will be experiencing in time to come.

And last but not least… #60:

You.

For being who you are and touching the world with your presence.

Be sure to check out Tiny Buddha by visiting their website here.

If you would like to get more involved with "Make a difference Monday" by suggesting an idea for me to include in the weekly post, send me an email at [email protected] with your idea.  If I include your idea in an upcoming "Make a difference Monday", I will include a link your blog or website.

Leave me a comment to let me know if you do any of the ideas this week & how it turned out. I would love to hear how these ideas made a difference in the world around us!

"Celebrate everyday." by Madi